this one was made for esmonD, after i made my ernestine`s! and guess what ernest said? "apples.. throw away if doctor handsome!" hahahah wahhahaha! taken from my brother`s blogskin! but his blog is defunct alr la. and i wrote esmond loves apples cos esmond has lovely pictures of him posing w rosy apples!
and this was made for all my lovely christian facebook friends!! and im so sad cos facebook didnt save them properly so i dont think any of them received them! but thats okay, i can try again another time, and this time i upload them as pictures :D DO READ MY MESSAGE ON THE PICTURE!!! (:

chari hehe! God will carry you through this tough period my girl! you just have to study hard and papa God will do the rest. He loves you and loves to see you get good results cos He loves you especially when you smile! i love you too! :D
xinhui okie sureeeee :D you too! how have you been?!
alissa hahaha okay okay okay! daddy mummy says you`ve been growing rounder what! hehe :D hmm, the youth are great people! didnt i alrdy told you so?! -.- :D :D :D

tutorials here i come,
and esmond, enjoy reading my lovely post w the lovely paragraph dedicated to you which made you smile even though you arent aware of what i wrote!! HAHAHA!

anyway, I LOVE ALL MY READERS!!!!!!!!!
gdnight and God bless you all lovely people!! (:

EDIT
and actually, i found out that esmond hasnt finished blogging cos he claims two people were disturbing him,
hymph excuses!
and he said he was sooooo close.
nanny nanny im still the winner!
okay la, i didnt mean what i said. its a joke!! :D
esmond is coolios! (:
/EDIT

Saturday, October 20, 2007

i am tired,
and i dont feel like blogging!
and im blogging just to pass time cos im waiting for an important call and waiting for some church peeps to get online,
actually the person i was waiting for is jaron and ernest, jaron was online earlier but i appeared offline =x and ernest is now online wahaha! (:

okay im in a rather good mood today.
i worship-led w rena today,
and she taught me alot,
and i had to give the signals myself this time,
i think that i have improved from the last time i worship-led w glow.
im rather happy w myself.

i brought alissa to church today.
and judging by her bubbly self, i think she enjoyed herself alot!
i think she likes it here cos she told me that actually the people were rly nice (:

okay and now jaron is online and talking to me!
im really thankful for such wonderful friends la!
our youth group is rather small,
and its a plus cos it makes us be close to each other and know each other personally!
you dont get this sort of closeness in large groups.
and i love this sort of feeling cos you dont have to worry about missing out anyone else cos everyone else fits in nicely and lovely (:
i love point community la! :D :D

i have to help my mummy mark more of my brother`s chinese exam papers!
his exams are next week and my mum`s rather anxious for him!
shes bugging me to mark the papers,
but unfortunately chinese is so not my forte,
and i dont like marking the zao ju (complete sentence) and open-ended comprehension!
the rest are all relatively easy cos its multiple choice!

i havent rly done my tutorials yet!
CARISSA SHOULD NOT PROCRASTINATE!!!!
i cannot leave my stuff to do last minute again!!
sian, i wil do my work later.
after marking my bro`s stuff,

and right now as i type theres this strong fruity fragrance,
but now its gone ):
oh well!
okay stop wasting time alr la you!!

ernest well it is rather slipshot cos i was kinda in a rush for time and you can see that my post is all over the place, very very messy! hahahah (: okay! ernest i rly enjoy talking to you! :D

alright i shall go do my stuff now!
God bless everyone! :D

10:14:00 PM

Friday, October 19, 2007

anyway im going to shout out loud:
HENG ESMONDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!
i thought you were my friendddd?
how can you go support the one who`s bullying me!!
HOW MEAN CAN YOU GET?!!
HYMPH lousy friend you are!
you just made me rly sad ):
im going to tell my ernestine!

haha okay-
it turned out i psychoed esmond to help me again,
even against his ernestine ):
oh my poor boy ernestine!
hehe!

anyway i`ve got sooooo much to blog about but im feeling very very lazy again.
i got back frm cell today, and its really good!
we talked about evangelism!
its good i really enjoyed cell today,
got to talk it out alot w chinyi, josh and daniel(:

anyway im rather lazy as usual so my post will be rather slipshot,
please dont leave me just because of that!

i dont know what to blog about my days alr!
anyway the youth celebrated joshua`s birthday on wednesday!
and we got him a nice cake which reminds me i owe jem and chari money!
and joshua decided to treat us dinner! at some seafood place in sembawang and it wasnt exactly v cheap either,
anyway he treated me lunch too, so thanks dear (:

anyway what happened on tuesday was actually supposed to be a secret,
but it doesnt rly matter anymore,
cos i went out w vanny and clarene to get joshua`s esprit tee.
and i met glow and ernest for awhile to look at the all-blacks adidas jersey we intended to buy.
but it was so not within our budget eh?
then plans change here and there,
and my ernest was nice enough to send me to toapayoh!
thank you dear (:
and yeah i forgotten what happened alr!

thursday!
sheila and alex had to pass joshua his present so we went to nyp to surprise (meet) him,
actually it wasnt rly a surprise cos he was aware we were dropping by,
but he didnt count on us, being able to find his classroom except that we didnt walk all the way because he came out alr.
and that is all thanks to his timetable and gabriel`s help,
gabriel is a big big help!
he helped me decipher the code on joshua`s timetable!
and he`s very nice to me even though he pwned his phone bill countless times because of me and ernest? :D
thanks arh (: really really appreciate you alot!!!

friday!
woke up extremely early and left for school.
had sports and wellness briefing for an hour and waited for CATS to start,
im joining volleyball.
and CATS was quite alright la!
my teacher is rather nice (:

overall: today is a great day,
but i am very tired,
and i dont have enough food,
but im not hungry!!!
all i had were half a sandwich, two donuts and some LJS fish chicken and fries!

okay nvm im not hungry what!
im going to sleep soon!

will be worship leading w rena jie tmr!
with her around, i wont be so worried cos shes a good teacher! (:
and i might go early to play piano w ernest!!!!
gona drag my sister for youth for the very first time!

okay my apologies again, for such a lousy slipshot post!

esmond hahaha! i think that shirt is rather common cos its simple and pretty!! (: and yes i finally joined facebook, dont make me lose okay! (:
sheila hehehe (: thanks!! sheilalalaaaa! come and visit me sometimeeeeeeee! at my church i mean hahaha (: i love you!

okay i think i shall go sleep alr!
God bless everyone! :D

11:03:00 PM

Thursday, October 18, 2007

HAPPY NINETEENTH BIRTHDAY JOSHUA TAI!!! (: (:
youth sunday!

my birthday surprise at ngee ann poly! thanks!! (:
after sentosa w youth!
gabriel`s macbook during one of the saturday service (:
soccer, first soccer i went to at the field opposite bishan central? (:

Daren`s 21st birthday chalet at downtown east (:
lastly in church, on one of the saturdays! (:

okay im rather tired, so i shall not blog so much today,

shall blog properly tmr then,

sleepy la!

anyway today is joshua`s birthday duh!

and i found out that he was born at 4:15pm!

cos someone msged him and told him that she wanted to msg at that time!

hahaha!

okay im tired and i have to reach np at 8am tmr morning! cannot be late!!

think i have to sleep alr!

the post timing is in the afternoon cos i uploaded those photos in np in the afternoon,

but im blogging now and its past midnight alr!

yes i joined facebook, and im still struggling w it!

anyone interested to give me a full tutorial on how to use it?!

hehe okay!

esmond hahaha! thats what you say arh! okay! hmm i joined facebook!!!! and ernest too! my first day of school was tiring!! have to get back into the going back to school momentum again!!! ahaha!

ernest whaaaaaat! hahaha ernest super cute what!! (: hehe!

okay im going to sleep alr!

good night and God bless my dearest readers! (:

10:03:00 AM

Monday, October 15, 2007

okay ive been really tempted to blog but i just feel too lazy.

anyway i was kinda scary last night, come to think of it, i actually cracked under the pressure.
the pressure of getting my notes printed in time and it doesnt help that MeL was slow and cldnt display the webpage many times, and that left me rly anxious and also i was having pressure from other places also what,

but thank God for chari again, she pulled me aside and told me to listen to her,
and then she prayed aloud thru msn w me,
and ordered me to go and shower,
and i talked to papa God and He healed me, He restored my strength and i was really really calmer after that,

i completed my stuff but didnt manage to print my poa notes cos got prob so i printed it this morning.
and i also sorted out my other stuff, those that i felt were very important and i had to straighten out.
anyway its okay if you`re lost now cos you, the reader will prolly not understand how i actually felt yesterday.

of course there were other people who also came and calm me down, people like my sheila, who reminded me that she loved me and left me a big big hug (: thanks girl! and people like ernestine and gideon oi! (:

anyway even though im feeling calm and not so nauseous now, i still feel lazy to blog, gah.
well in the morning today, i felt very nauseous throughout the bus ride and also when i reached school.
and i was very early for school! an hour before my lecture started, i reached,
so i walked to atrium to get my epass updated and i sat at the chairs,
and thank God that nauseous feeling and my tight-chestedness left me then (:

met lijun and we went for our poa lecture,
saw siqi! and also devon! i think they were rather shocked to see me in the lecture theatre.
the people there in the LT were so much different frm my last term ones,
cos they`re so so quiet and attentive but also oblivious to the lecturer`s cry for another laptop cos she was having technical difficulties HAHA :D
whereas my cohort had lots of distracters! they ae extremely noisy and most of the lecturers get exasperated by us very easily,
overall my day was rather tiring, but it was still alright thank God!
i have to get used to going back to school again!
crashed their miec lecture cos i didnt arrange to meet anyone,
and went for my one hour CIP lecture also,
then was arranging to go out w v and c after our single lecture tmr which ends at 3,
i have quite an errand to run,
so afterthat we walked out,
and i met sheila halfway,
v and c left me first,
and sheila was talking to juer,
sheila passed me my LEVEL ONE CERT!!! :D :D :D
i am happy!
but sue ann wrote my name as Fan Xin Xin,
gah, its Fan Xinxin Carissa,

the weather was rather dampening today,
it dampened my mood for the first day of school.
but actually i was still rather happy,
cos i feel like a burden-free girl now.
my old carefree days, here i come!

mum was rather surprised when i reached home,
but i alr told her i ended early at four!

hahaha! (:
anyway my last post was my shortest ever, and i tell you it looks very weird!
dont you all think so too?! hahaha!
okay i know i was being very very random when i said that!

anyway speaking of random, want to blog about another thing,
its rather hilarious when you come to think about it.
brandon is older than me by many years haha hes an adult alr.
but on friday, what he msged me was rly random,
he msged me telling me to meet him in church cos i was gona follow his car.
and then i replied him,
and then he msged back, telling me to stay in church cos i alr reached church then and told me stephen might need some help in logistics.
AND THEN HE TOLD ME HE GOT TUMMY ACHE NOW (then)
can you tell me, how how how random he is?!
super funny okay he`s so cute!!

actually i didnt follow brandon`s car, i followed uncle peter`s instead, tgt w stephen gabriella and ernestine! :D
TCM retreat was great.
i shall not blog about it.
but overall i enjoyed myself,
even though i had rly bad cases of emo-ness and chari had to run after me and listen to me,
remember boardwalk chari? :D
hehe!
anyway we nearly went to changi hospital, inside! at night,
but glow and i didnt rly dare, even though jem and josh were there taking photographs!
at night eh?!

i want to go see see changi hospital sometime!
maybe next year!

sunday! gave out balloons and flyers,
its not easy at all la!
then went out w my sister and the boys,
and then ended up at arcade after that,
and the boys danced parapara,
and they had loads of fun,
turned out just that one outing has changed my sister`s perception of these youth people.
she likes them! and she even rated them even though i only know like the 1st and 2nd rank :P

okay i want to post more photos but i guess not today,
im rather tired out alr!
okay maybe i`ll blog tmr?!

yewheng hahaha ooh yes! more motivation for you! hmm you can make it one la! just keep going dont give up! :D
stephanie whaaaaat! -.- hahahaha its okay, im alright alr! the wonders of my awesome God!! :D
liping okay :D i thought thats your old url?! :D
esmonD esmond you ultimate la you! yeah thanks im fun loving :D esmeralda is my tablet pc rmb?! and esmondy esmondo sounds utterly disgusting! JUST KIDDING! kuakuakua (:
chari hahahhaha i scared him alot on sunday poor thing! hahah my sister say one! hmm im much much way better now! thanks for your prayer and countless encouragement!! love you princess!!

okay im going to switch esme off alr,
anybody willing to clear esmeralda`s keyboard for me?!

God bless you all :D :D

10:28:00 PM

Saturday, October 13, 2007

i feel like blogging but im lazy to type out.
okay then i shall not blog then!

will blog about today`s retreat tmr!
anyway! just a random note: ernest is my brest bro!

esmonD hey! we`re not bored/boring people! we`re fun loving people! -.- muahaha
ernest HEY ERNEST dont make fun of my esmeralda la! esmonralda! hehehehe!

11:07:00 PM

Friday, October 12, 2007

im dead tiredddd ):
dont know if its because i havent been getting enough food into my body or not.

lunched w ernest Q!!!!!!!!!
at tp burger king!
had whopper jr student meal.
its very very fillingggggggg!
then we went to church and we met fabian on the bus! -.-

well i think today is a very tiring day for me,
because i chionged to do work so i can come out today.
sigh, poor poor me.
i repacked my entire wiremesh and now its very neat!
but i still need to sort my clothes more and see which ones i want to throw out.
i got lots of unused clothes!!
anyway time for a new wardrobe revamp for clothes!
shopping soon i hope!
i know i took approx half hour to fold the dried clothes and i finish sorting out my bro`s school file.
can you believe it?! i actually have to help my bro sort his papers according to subjects and file neatly la! -.-
and initially i thought i had to cancel my lunch appt w ernest!
but thank God i managed to finish my chores at the nick of time, so i was still able to meet ernest at the time we arranged! :D

and its so amazing cos i told ernest to message me when he reached tp,
while i was on the bus, i was pretty worried ernest hadnt reached yet cos i was reaching soon,
afterall i told him not to leave the house too soon cos i was gonna be late.
but exactly on the dot at one, okay actually slightly after one, as i was getting ready to alight at the interchange,
ERNEST MESSAGED ME saying that he reached alr!
i was like, alleluia!
it was just the right time!! :D

we went back to church,
and played w gab`s lousy dell for a while.
before going to bang on the piano with joshua on the drums.
super cool okay i tell you!
made some jokes and ernest played a prank on poor gabriel wong. (think signing in and out of msn, ernest!)
and ernest and i have our own private joke, which eventually was shared w glow? i think?
ernest quek the pantry boy. carissa the admin girl (:
hahaha! and we took some pictures,
rather unglam la!
and the boys just love to take my phone and play my games,
people who pawned my poor battery: ernest! gabriel! and basil!
ahh nvm im not angry w you all.

and we also have our own joke.
gabriel wong is gabriella.
ernest quek is ernestine (mangosteen).
and because these two names were thought by your truly,
ernest decided to nickname me too! -.-
and he gave me a name, which is caleb. its rather bbh cos caleb was the first name gab thought of that started w C,
and its dumb cos my name isnt like caleb at all?!?
and ernest named stephen stephanie! -.-

got to aloha changi.
settled in,
the place is huuuuge!
not exactly very new but its alright!
ernest, sue en and i wrote the names of those who`s gona come tmr for the retreat on coloured papers.
after the base name, i decorated the names again w an extra outline.
but ernest`s was made very special!
it had the 'ine' behind,
which is ernestine :P
gabriel got very upset when we changed his too by adding the 'la'
and he made a fuss and left us,
so i changed it into a flower.
sue en said my writing is very nice so she asked me to write her name for her, but i think hers is pretty too!

went for dinner when Ps ben and the gang arrived in his car.
at changi village!!!
shared fried carrot cake w sus cos we both felt we cldnt eat very much,
but in the end the portion that we ordered was huge and its very filling too!
and we drank uber sweet sugar cane too!
dinner was great!
went back and played taboo!
gabriel distributed sweets and chocolate.
and we all had loads of fun!
i love hanging out w the people in youth!
they`re just so fun to be with la! :D

and in the end Ps ben and rena sent me home.
i got home in time for my exciting show yippee!
thank God for sending me lovely angels!
im going to sleep soon!
gdnight all :D

huimeng okay okay! study hard and smart!! im waiting to see you in np with gd gd results! :D
yewheng okay thanks! :D hmm yes, times are changing and more people qualified for jc education choose to go the poly route, its getting more competitive alr, but you shdnt worry too much and just do your best! (:

old photo of me and ernest quek!
even older photo of us! hahahaha! i dont have time to upload today`s one leh! ):
and to end off, this is me at my aunt`s house (: i dont know how i was feeling at that time!

11:15:00 PM

Thursday, October 11, 2007

am i being too pushy, too selfish that i lost you totally?
like i said in my earlier post, im gona be the stay-home queen,
and i really am, the house.
and shower when i get back too.
but if its just going downstairs for food, or buy food, or pick my sister/sin-e etc etc,
theres actually no need to bathe,
and why on earth am i blogging my bathing habits for the whole world to see -.-
anyway. i didnt shower in the mornin
cos after breakfast (which you can also consider as lunch) with my parents at srgn gardens,
i went home and supervised my brother!
well breakfast was very fulfilling.
i agreed immediately when my mum asked if i wanted to join them for breakfast.
usually i wld just tell them its alright i`ll stay at home,
after staying at bedok for weeks, ive learnt not to be so particular about bathing in the morning before leaving the house.
in bedok, i only get to bathe once, not that my aunt is very stringent or what la,
its just that i dont feel i need to bathe so many times then,
and its not like im going out or what,
if im going out, then i`ll shower before leavingg la.
and we had rly good kway chap!
at serangoon garden market food centre.
carissa is very down underneath that smile you see.
went home and rested abit.
and marked papers,
and made sure isaac did his maths,
but i still have to push him alot.
dont ask me, i dont want to talk about it.
and gah, i totally forgot about msging my aunt to tell her to call me regarding saturday`s tuition.
i cannot teach because i`ll be at TCM annual retreat.
i think its gona be a great saturday for me, and i pray that nothing will hinder me from enjoying myself w people i love.
will go to aloha changi tmr too.
following brandon`s car w gab and ernest!
lunch w ernest! oh my!

talked alot w charissa just now when she was still online.
before my nine-oclock show.
and we shared w each other our experiences la.
the hair-tearing experiences that we both have,
and i think charissa is a very strong girl.
i really admire her.
okay now i shall be her one biggest fan-her secret admirer :D
yaaaay :D
anyway girl, thanks for sharing w me, and also listening to me rant too!
and im glad i got some out of my chest! :D

anyway i dont have much to blog today.
i just had the urge to blog so i blog lor.
also dont feel like posting the rest of the photos in my phone,
maybe i`ll just choose a few nice ones lor.
and cheer me up :D

jeremy pan hahahha yes! you dont have to remind me, yeah i need to go start swimming soon! :D
esmonD whats so weird about my pics! hahah yes i know you`re in switzerland, you`re the one who betrayed sgp for somewhere else, hymph! :) you`re ernest`s ultimate la! :D
i dont know if im worthy enough to be even your friend anymore.
(after attempting to post photographs, blogger failed me again.)
its so GAHHHHHHH infuriating! cos it gave me the same error message as yesterday!
somehow you left, and left me very heartbroken and hurt.
i hate to say this, but i miss you terribly!
you look like you`re enjoying yourself alot, i guess you`re just better off without me in your life.

10:55:00 PM

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

im okay but im not alright,
i look optimistic but i get down (and very down) at some point.
i dont know how exactly i feel when i tell you i dunno how i feel.
i dont want to acknowledge the fact that i am down.
i am a strong girl,
and with my awesome God, i can overcome ALL OBSTACLES.
no stronghold will bring me down.
i WILL NOT (must not) GET DOWN!

okay, i will not blog about whats getting me down,
cos i also dunno what exactly is getting me down! hahaha!
but thats alright,
i`ll see myself thru this situation and i`ll be normal again,
definitely,
or i hope?
NO I CANNOT DOUBT!

I WILL INDEED GET MUCH BETTER!!

ahh thats much better isnt it? :D

anyway, just an update to let all my readers know,
im now in JOO SENG ROAD!!
why?
because my mummy wanted me home to supervise my brother`s mugging,
he`s not rly mugging la,
just doing tons of assessment papers.
and sometimes i wonder if its being too harsh on him or not, cos i kinda feel bad for him.
but today, is a rather fulfilling day because, i GOT MY BROTHER TO FINISH ALL THE EXAM PAPERS MY MUM PREPARED FOR HIM,
AND I FINISHED MARKING ALL OF THEM ALRDY!
but the bad thing is, he fell asleep immediately after finishing the last paper.
AND HE HASNT HAD HIS DINNER YET!
tell me how oh my is that! -.-

and thank God mummy wasnt upset or anything.

i watch the nine-oclock show and its getting really exciting!
im rather scared for the characters though,
and it makes me anxious to know the outcome of the drama,
argh, and i missed some episodes too, thats so sad ):

anyway on a happier note,
i want to thank ernest quek!
he has been a great friend.
ive been communicating w him alot this week.
and he`s always been there to talk to me,
the simple things he does also make me smile so i rly thank God for this great lil bro i have :D
and glow too, who was willing to play puzzle and uno and sudoku w me when i was feeling rather GAH.
hehe, im rly thankful for these blessed people.

okay, heres to ESMOND! (ernest`s ultimate friend)
haha you are one very funny guy, you told me that i just have to ask you to link me and you will, but i have to link you as well.
however, you the funny boy went to link me, and i didnt even know!
ahaha! anyway, you`re so funny to post HELLO TO CARISSA or something on your blog in reply to my tag.
it really made me smile you funny boy.
hah, so you went to switzerland eh?
and you know why i call you the ultimate?
cos when i read your blog, i felt that you were the ultimate joker/crapper,
and it really make me grin alot!
and to the tag on ernest`s blog which you said to me: i thought you were my friend or something.
hah, yepp so now im officially your friend.
and you`ve gain a friend.
so im gona link you after i post this post.
ahhaha and hopefully you`ll like the way i link you!
hehe!
anyway ernest is really cute la!

okay.
CELINE HAS GOTTEN HER LEVEL ONE CARD.
i havent got mine yet!!!!!! ):
gahhhhhhhhhhhh!
im so excited!!
i want to get it soon soon like, now?!?!?!?
jonathan hwa soong yi are you reading this?!?!
and sheila wants hers too!!

AND SHEILA:
i want to tell you my reason for not wanting to go shopping w you when you asked me,
can you quickly come online and talk to me?
i really seriously miss you like alot!
and it feels like i havent seen you in a gazillion years.
and i have like loads of stuff that i need to tell you that i have been putting off telling you.
and its not good cos its making my feelings bottled up.
anyway main thing is i really miss you la.
actually, i miss all my friends in school.
but its like i cant wait to see them again,
BUT I DONT WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!
im dreading my next semester.
gah.
why did i fail that lousy subject?!
OH YES I ALSO HAVE TO SHOW YOU A FEW PICTURES FRM MY PHONE! REMIND ME OKAY!!!

ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYy on an even happier note,
I GOT ALL MY PHOTOS IN MY PHONE LIKE UPLOADED INTO THE COMPUTER.
ask me why ask me why!
hahaha
anyway i used the desktop to download them and saved them in my pretty red imation. LOL
AND TRANSFERRED THEM TO MY PHOTOS IN MY LOVELY ESMERALDA!!!!!!
yes im actually not a lazy person.
will post them after i reply to my tags,
and if im not too busy! heh:D

i keep thinking i missed out something as i typed this.
okay i shall just let it be,

oh yes!
HEIDI TAY CHIA YAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i need you to like call me immediately cos it concerns my meeting w you after a gazillion years and i want to ask you out.
haha :D at least before my school start la, eh? :D

yewheng hehe thats the right attitude! yes you come poly! maybe you come np then you can meet me and treat me icecream! hehe KIDDING! study hard okay!!!!!! :D
sheila perhaps! hahahaha i show you my timetable alr. and its not nice ): but we still can meet meet :D

my keypad is very dirty.
my keypad looks stained.
my keypad just looks very dirty.
poor esmeralda.

gah i wanted to type something here but i forgotten.
oh well its alright then.
okay i shall be the stay-home queen for the next few days again.
i want to mugmug and be madmad.

okay let me post some photographs! :D
to brighten up this poor blog!

SIN-E!!!!!! ive been taking care of her for the past few weeks and i have quite a few funny videos of her! :D
this is her drawing, and its her daddy`s favourite. it was put together w him and a note frm sin-e at the back.

blogger does not allow me to upload anymore photographs its so sad ):
okay i guess i shall upload them next time then!
and i realise i have many photos of myself! LOL! :D

byeeee for now, and God bless all :D :D :D

10:07:00 PM

Monday, October 08, 2007

heyhey :D
this is the last week i`ll be staying at bedok w my aunty.

and frm next week onwards i`ll be home at jooseng road.
ahh i really miss that place and even though i go back every weekend, its still weird.
today i woke up at bedok thinking i was back on my twin-sized bed.
and instead of hearing my mummy hollering for me to wake up,
i hear my aunt and sin-e talking.
kuakuakua! :D

anyway, i do not know why i keep feeling rather down,
as in the mood la,
dont ask me why cos i dont know why.

anyway let me blog about my dailies.
its been really long since i blogged about my days!
anyway we had combined cell on friday.
cos chinyi had something on, and some three boys (joshua gabriel and jeremy) had to attend a wedding.
so we had it at fabian`s house.
and we listened to one of benny ho`s sermons.
before cell i was reading chapter six of 'The God Chasers" in pp macs while waiting for the rest to come,
and its so awesome cos the sermon was about the same topic that i read it the book.
and it made me understand better what the speaker was saying.
its really awesome la!

yes and as usual we had our sharings,
i shared about my blog post and how i felt much better after blogging.
and then i cld get my songs prepared for the next day as i was co-leading worship w glow on saturday
cell was really good that day.
but the bad thing was it ended so late ):
we ended at like 1115pm la.
but thank God my mummy didnt scold me,
cos my cell ends by 930pm so i can reach home by ten.
anyway rena baked cheesecake for us,
and we had it during cell. and the bottom was really good!
actually the entire cheesecake was super yummy!
hehe rena makes nice cheesecake! :D

saturday.
i was really moody before-during worship practice.
rena was pretty worried for me cos when she arrived she saw me tearing ):
gah,
okay anyway co-leading went great.
even though our singing werent perfect, it wasnt easy either,
but we pulled it through by the power of the Holy Spirit and also the grace of God.
im really thankful for Him and i really felt His immerse presence during free worship also.

anyway, im glad susanna came for worship, cos she blogged about being unsure if she shd come for youth that day,
and im glad i brought some joy to her that day.
cos it was like, after worship and after our service they went to play floorball,
then we decided to go to BENA`s house for dinner since everyone else were cash-strapped,
and sus told me, that she had sth to say to me and she kept forgeting.
and she told me that when i led worship, it made her feel really happy,
when i heard her say that, i was like, wow really?!?!
and that also brought joy to me, and i felt happy! :D
thank you girl!!

quote from her blog:
i like it when carissa leads cp. she's so jumpy & happy. radiating joy. (:

overall a great day :D
dinner was good also!!!!! i loveeeeee :D
rena said: cook`s reward is seeing carissa`s satisfied look and hear that she is full!
haha i cant really rmb the exact words but this is what she talked about.

SUNDAY was children`s sunday.
and it was goodd!
it was a good service and i found the notes very useful.
and the little girls who went up to lead were very very brave,
even though they made the congregation laugh at least two times hehe :D
but it was really good.
the songs are all so meaningful and makes you feel young.
not that im saying the usual songs we sing are very oldish and make us feel old!
anyway the kids stayed back to receive their goodie bags.
daren gave me one goodybag too :D haahahha!
im an overgrown kid.
anyway. lydia also gave us our gifts,
it was a glass.
and sadly my mummy broke mine.
but im not angry w her hehe :D
i love mummy!

and so we stayed back for fellowship lunch.
distributed invitation flyers for medical sunday to the residents of potong pasir.
i tell you its not easy at all!
we literally had to knock on every door and its rather hard cos sometimes they choose not to answer the door, or else they will say they dont want/don`t need anything,
but then again, there were also nice people who let us finish what we want to say and receive the flyer and notepad w smiles, and also those who actually looked forward to our next medical sunday.
cos its like some residents were expecting the invitation, as medical sunday was a yearly thing for my church.
those really made my day! :D
and i was late in getting home,
i got home at about five,
and thank God my mum didnt really lecture me.
but i did my house vacuuming also :D

no swimming ):
havent swam in a long time,
i want to go swimming soon!
and today its not much ive done.
woke up, made sure sin-e got ready for school, her bath.
and then my sister came back early today what,
so my aunt, sin-e, alissa and i went out for lunch together,
and curry fish was good :D hehehe!

i do not know why ive kinda lost my fire for blogging everyday.
i will relight it soon!
and hopefully it wld be better next week.
and pray for the start of my school term next week!
i have a horrendous timetable but unfortunately it was self-chosen.
so i cannot blame it on anyone/anything.
i`ve given up certain things so i hope to be able to cope better and maximise my time next sem!
prayers will be greatly appreciated!

anyway! here are the replies to my lovely friends:
ernest HAHAHA i said kidding what! kua kua kua! ernest makes me laugh!
chari heheh can can! just tell me when you want to go! and my friend tells me she received her level one card alr! oh my oh my! okay yeah sometimes we have to give up things we love/enjoy, its beyond comprehension why we cannot keep the things we love, its either let go of this or you wont get that!
yewheng HAHHAHA okaaaaay! you funny la you! you`re not scary at all! HOW IS YOUR Os PREPARATION YOU DODO?!
sheila HEHE OKAY! but you know right, frm the looks of stuff i can only go out w you during our school term! COS ALL WE HAVE LEFT IS ONE WEEK OF HOLIDAY OH MYYYYYY! ): and i havent visited jasper yet also!
alex okay okay :D yay thanks! :D
huimeng I MISS YOU LOADS TOO! eh how is your Os preparation arh, you dont let me see you online and talking away okay! i want you to concentrate on your mugging heh!
glow thank you glow! you did well too! hmm rockclimbing is really fun i love it too! we point community shd go climbing someday! and i can be all your zai belayer :D hehe!
celine OKAY ZAAAAAAAAI! you let me know when you all gona climb unofficially and i`ll try to make it! ahh i want my cardddddd tooooooooooooo :D :D :D i miss you too btw!

okay, i shall go see if my sister needs help w her studying!
God bless :D

3:13:00 PM

Thursday, October 04, 2007

this is just one of the times im grateful that i have a blog, so that i can just rant whatever i want to without worrying about the other party (besides the reader) getting hurt by my remarks.

anyway if you`re here to hear about something interesting or what, i suggest you leave my blog now, and come back another time when my post is nicer (:

but no offence to anyone who`s gona attempt to read this post.
anyway, im grateful i have lovely and close friends,
people like sheila and charissa and celine.

staying in my aunty`s house has given me the chance to think.
to think about my own life.
i have time in my hands so i always end up thinking about myself, the people around me and my life, basically.
and so, since just now i have been online,
and theres practically no one to talk to.
except for some people which i will talk about later,
i had the intention of playing puzzle.
but apparently i cldnt play puzzle even though i managed to find a puzzlemate
and even then my puzzlemate was busy w his own stuff, not that i fault him.
so i gave up on puzzle.
i went blog-hopping,
but it seems like theres nothing much worth bloghopping anymore,
no one else updates their blogs regularly except charissa and sus,
and so, i went to stomp,
to look at the Singapore Seen part.
so okay,
i got so bored i decided to vacuum the floor.
and while i was vacuuming i decided i wanted to blog about this.
so here i am,

anyway i was talking about msn,
i absolutely detest people i dont know bugging me on msn,
for example: bugging me to send them my photograph (not that im very pretty or what), or bugging me for friendster testimonials when i dont even know who they are.
for starters, to give you all a clearer picture to what i am talking about,
there is this guy frm my secondary school.
apparently he knows me (prolly frm seeing me around or my emceeing jobs), but i dont know who he is.
and i dont even know how he looks like,
i have tried checking him out in the yearbook but it leads me on a wild goose chase cos this guy isnt in the class photos at all.
it makes me feel very grr.
and its not that im unfriendly or what.
its just that i dont like people bugging me for favours when they barely know me,
why am i blogging about this?
because earlier on, some guy, lets just name him B,
B, i assume, is younger than me by one year,
and i do not know who he is, or his real name, let alone where is he from,
and so he has hello-ed me before in msn,
ive been really nice by acknowledging his hello.
but no, i dont get to find out who he actually is,
and anyway he has a dp,
but i do not find that face familiar at all.
so nvm,
he asked me to send him my photo.
and im like, for? as in for what?!?!
and i told him he cld just look at my dp.
and apparently my dp had many faces,
so alright, he told me to show him one of me alone,
and i showed him a pic of me and sheila, and told him that was the closest i cld get,
cos i had absolutely no intention of showing him a photo of me alone, not that im scared or anything
and then he didnt disturb me anymore, he prolly went offline, but that doesnt matter to me,
and after awhile, im faced w another guy, lets call him L.
L is from my secondary school.
i do not know who he is,
but he knows my name and my surname,
and he thinks that i know him,
he has been bugging me for testimonials ever since he added me,
i, of course have not given him a single one cos for starters i dont even know how he looks like,
so nvm, i dont bother checking out who he is.
and i thank God he is not bothering me at this instance.

but, im not here to blog about anonymouses bugging me over the oh so glamourous msn messenger (or windows live messenger as it is now called).
anyway im using windows live messenger PLUS, it allows colours to be seen, thats why you have codes on your nic or pm.
but thats not the important point.

more appropriately, i do not know what exactly i am feeling right now,
somehow i am hungry for God,
but then again i do not know why i dont feel myself when i do my quiet time or read the books rena passed me,
i really miss that kind of feeling, i guess i shall have to pray about it.
will be worship leading w glow this sat,
im rather nervous, cos ive nv done it before,
and till now, i still have no idea what to sing that day.
i guess i have to learn to wait on God more,

anyway i have decided i need to restraighten my life,
cos currently i feel that its in a mess, even though i feel otherwise too.
i have decided to give up on certain things,
and work on others.

i have decided that i will give up on rockclimbing in np.
im not saying im gona give up on it totally,
but i just dont want to stress over rc and i dont really want to go regularly cos ive learnt the hard way that it was taking up too much of my time,
classic example: ive been rather regular in rockclimbing last sem, and my grades suffered, i failed poa and i have to repeat,
even though repeating isnt the end of the world. but i dont want to risk repeating somemore, one is more than enough for me,
and also, this decision came after some bad encounters in rockclimbing club itself.
no im not saying that npclimbers are bad people.
in actual fact, they are one of the nicest people ive met in np besides my class and clique (vanny, clarene, sheila etc.)
i am more certain after the bonding camp that this decision is the right one for me,
i have been battling w my own doubts and also my friends whose constantly asking me to return,
people like sheila, my lovely celine and my good pal fish yide, and maybe jonathan hwa.
ive talking w sheila and yide and sometimes celine about my decision to stop being so involved in rc.
and so this is my final decision, ive decided to stop coming for the practice regularly,
but i will drop in once in awhile to climb leisurely,
no do not start by telling me you have alr bought the zai climbing shoes and got your level one cert,
actually i havent got my cert yet, but im certified.
anyway i havent got my chalkbag yet, and i can easily sell my shoes to yide or sherpes? eh? :D
i like rockclimbing, really, and i love belaying too.
and i`ll nv forget the lovely times ive spent w the club,
not to mention the time when they celebrated my and yide`s birthday after a pt session on our actual birthdays.
this is hard for me, but i have to let go.

ive been having this feeling that a friend who grew up w me detests me,
okay maybe detest is too strong a word to be used,
somehow i feel that shes not too happy w me and i do not know why.
maybe im just being overly sensitive but why do i feel some of the words she used on her blog so subtlely arrowed at me?

(my blogging is now on hold because im talking to lovely stephanie at sydney and joshua tai)

anyway yes i was talking about the above mentioned.
it hurts me sometimes when i think of it, and i think of the possible reasons that cause her to dislike me,
but i mean like, i cannot stop people frm disliking me, but i wld prefer people not to dislike me,
its like, everyone likes to be liked right, HAHA but nvm,
i dont like talking to people who dislike me and yet they pretend to be my friend.
i cannot tolerate that cos i dont like being a hypocrite.
so if you dislike me, i cant stop you frm it but i can stay away frm you, so as not to aggravate or cause you to dislike me even more.
but thats alright,
i shall not be paranoid.
i just hope im being paranoid.
i hope im wrong.

okay.
i know i have other stuff to blog about but i cant remember what they are,
anyway they cant be that important also, so its alright,

to sheila:
i need to go shopping soon for clothes.
can you be my shopping partner?
and anyway can we have another sajc thing soon soon soon?
i miss you dear girl ):

okay tag replies;
yewheng hahah no la, i teach anders quite a number of times and i havent felt like dying yet! he`s not that hard to teach, its just that i havent been blogging so some of my readers might think ive died! LOL!! JUST KIDDING! :P
bryan ive been alright i hope. yeah its been a long time since i last talked to you! how are YOU? :D
esther okie dokes:D

i feel like editing my blogskin.
but i kinda give up on it.
and yes i know my blog is quite messy,
no choice la, messy owner messy blog.
okay i`ll see what i can do next time,
but meanwhile i feel like uploading photos.
but i feel rather lazy,
we`ll see about it.
(editing and neatening my post and replying to tags)

ahh yes you`ve seen that ive decided to upload photos.
i love my vanessa foong!
i love my bla bla clarene hum :D
LOVE SHEILAAAAA :D
alissa and isaac! super cute siblings!
i love heidi tay!
sharol and weilynn! wonderful lovely classmates!!
joeline, claudia! more wonderful lovely classmates! im gona miss you all ):
MY BESTIES! V&C VANESSA CLARENE havent i told you both how much i loved you all?
LOOK AT ERNEST! super funny :D
I LOVE CHARISSA LEE :D she is a very good frienddddddd :D

theres alot of nice photos we`ve taken using gabriel`s macbook.
but i cant possibly upload all also what, :D
God has blessed me w such lovely friends around.
its so awesome to have such lovely churchmates to share and grow up with!
see! i have a twin! hahaha :D
daims!
thank you charissa, glow and jaron for being such great friends!
thank you chari! for chocolates, hugs, talks and everything! i love you charissa! :D
i kinda like this one leh! :D sketchy!
its rather whatever-whatever, isnt it?
its me:D
hello joshua tai :D
hahah just look at ernest for the next few photographs :D
lastly, the belle amongst the beasts! OKAY LOL JUST KIDDING! my gd friends: joshua, jem, jaron and ERNEST :D

okay i dont mean to sound sappy but i want to thank my lovely friends for being there for me:
sheila- thanks for being my best friend, thank you for your patience and i rly thank God for you, and thank God that we clique so well and we can help each other in our times of need, i love you alot! :D :D
vanessa and clarene- thank you for being such wonderful classmates! you`re the ones who stuck thru w me and also encouraged me! i really thank God for you both! i love you both! :D
charissa- like you always say, we shd always encourage each other, i want to thank you for your constant encouragement and you inspire me! thank you for keeping me going and thanks for just being there for me! i love you chari! :D
also to all my lovely girlfriends who have stood by me and helped me, i sincerely thank you.
rena- thank you for guiding me and constantly pointing out the way for me! you have helped me alot and im glad that ive grown so much through your guidance! i really thank God for you! love you rena jiejie :D

to all my good guy friends, who have stood by and encouraged me also. heres to you all:
joshua, ernest!, gwong, glow, jaron, jem, FISH YIDE!, and others who have helped me before.

oh my i sound like a drag,
no this is not a thank you speech, its gratitude,
okay i better go before i sound more ridiculous!
anyway, do keep me and my friends in prayer also!

God bless! :D

4:31:00 PM